The Living Marriages Podcast | Effective Communication, Intimacy, Healthy Habits, Christian Counseling, Christian Parenting

Best of: Honeymoon Habits That Will Transform Your Marriage with Braden and Kristen Hafner

Difference and Drift. These 2 things can be subtle but deadly for our marriages.
Have you discovered some differences with your spouse that have left you discouraged? Do you find yourself drifting further and further apart from your partner?
We're so excited to share our conversation with Braden and Kristin Hafner of Family Life Canada about God's hope for our marriages!
On this episode you'll hear:
Why marriage matters to God and us
How differences and drift can sabotage our marriages
How there is hope and healing in Christ for our marriages
How the small habits can really bring transformation
If you'd like to find out more about Braden and Kristin's work with Family Life Canada (including more information about the weekend getaways) please click here: https://www.familylifecanada.com/
What are some "honeymoon habits" that you and your spouse enjoy? Let us know! info@livingmarriages.com
 

Best of: Why Intimacy Goes Beyond the Bedroom in Marriage

When we use the word "intimacy," our culture (and even our churches) have conditioned us to think of what happens in the bedroom, of sexual intimacy.
While sexual intimacy is an integral part of marriage, it is not the full picture of what God has created us for and invited us into. There is so much more to intimacy and today's episode is meant to get the conversation going on what intimacy in marriage can look like beyond the bedroom.
According to Eric Erickson, intimacy is the potential someone has for connectedness and it hinges on 3 things:
Commitment
Vulnerability
Communication
Two important questions we ask about intimacy in marriage:
Is it safe to love?
Is it safe to be loved?
Resources:
This is a bit of a technical paper (but still very approachable) and is a good look at Erickson's ideas on intimacy:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2733523/#:~:text=As%20such%2C%20Erikson%20emphasized%20three,communicate%20inner%20thoughts%20and%20feelings.
A link to Henri Nouwen's essays on Intimacy:
https://archive.org/details/intimacyessaysin0000nouw
Have questions or need prayer? Get in touch with us: info@livingmarriages.com

Best Of: Overcoming Shame with Grace in Your Marriage with Katie Skurja

This is a first for the Living Marriages Podcast - a rebroadcast of one of our and your favourite episodes! Be encouraged as we re-visit this conversation with our good friend and mentor, Katie Skurja.
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"Shame is the most powerful force on the planet, apart from grace."
Katie Skurja, founder of Imago Dei Ministries, is an internationally recognized inner healing practitioner, spiritual director and marriage counsellor. We were thrilled and honoured that she could join us in this conversation exploring the devastating power of shame in our marriages and the joy and freedom available in Christ's healing work.
Topics we explore include:
What are "shadow vows" and why every couple should do them
God's grace that is available for us to turn into and confront our shame rather than hide it
How, as image bearers of God, we are like "Peanut M&Ms"
When we understand the paradoxes of God, we understand ourselves and our spouses better
What the drama triangle is and how it threatens our marriages
Resources:
For Katie's incredible conversation with children regarding the image of God and "Peanut M&M's", check out this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVTBnl5iEEg&t=310s
An excellent article on the "Drama Triangle":
https://www.idmin.org/_files/ugd/0d9c11_b989426836064bd3a9dfdfe15fe4e382.pdf
Where to find Katie, her resources and courses:
Imago Dei Ministries - https://www.idmin.org
Companying Center - https://www.companioningcenter.org
Let us know what you think of this conversation! Contact April and Aaron at info@livingmarriages.org

An Important Update to the Living Marriages Podcast

Greetings friends!
When we began the Living Marriages podcast over a year ago, we could never have imagined what a wonderful ride God was inviting us to - one filled with inspiring interviews, challenging conversations and the incredible opportunity to get to know some of you, our listeners.
We felt called from the beginning to offer 2 episodes a week (outside of once-a-week summer episodes) and we soon settled into a rhythm of Tuesday conversations and Thursday reflections and prayers.
Well, God moves us into new seasons and it feels like a new season has arrived for us! As our work with FamilyLife Canada is ramping up and our need for rest becoming more evident, we're making some changes to the podcast. This is our last Thursday Thought episode as we transition to one weekly episode. We will still have times for prayer and reflection in our main episode and offer, from time to time a bonus episode in case it feels like God is calling us to extra reflection and prayer. 
Thank you for sticking with us as we walk into a new season together with God and each other!

Thief of Joy: Busyness and Why God's Call to Sabbath Still Matters

Are you feeling hurried, busy beyond what you thought was possible, stripped of joy? Our culture has a solution for you - buy this bathrobe or three of these candles or this SUV to take you to the mountains so you can find the rest you so desperately want and need. 
They have one thing right - we need this rest! But here's what they have wrong - you don't need to buy it. God offers it to you. It's on the first page of the Bible!
Join us for this conversation where we explore:
What Sabbath truly is
What it means to "work from rest" rather than "rest from work"
Why God's heart for Sabbath rest for us today matters more than ever
Why legalism will ruin Sabbath for anybody
Why we need to give ourselves grace as we seek to practice, not perfect Sabbath
Here are a few of the resources we referenced during our conversation:
The Body Teaches The Soul by Justin Whitmel Earley
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren
Next Steps
Do you have some Sabbath practices that work for you? Get in touch so we can share them with our listeners! info@livingmarriages.com
We'd love to pray with you and hear how things are going in your marriage and family as well!

Unsatisfied? Praying and Fasting to Find Contentment in God

On this Thursday Thought, we provide some time for reflection as God invites us to consider:
Are there areas of our marriage or our lives where we don't feel contented or satisfied? If so, why might that be?
In what ways is God calling us to a fast in those areas, whether that be from food or spending?
Where do you have a sense that God is inviting you to fast in order to prepare you for his feast?
For those interested in trying a "No-Spend Week" here is some advice from what we've learned:
1. Prepare! Make sure you have what you need for the week you won't be spending.
2. Do it in community. Ask another family or your small group to join you in this.
3. Give yourself grace. There will be things that don't go according to plan this week.
4. Pay attention. Are you still being drawn to fill your online shopping cart even if you aren't spending? What are you filling your time with that you'd normally be spending shopping? What is God trying to teach you as you observe these things?
Interested in a food fast? You can find a resource to explore here.
Next Steps
Thanks for tuning in! We'd love to hear from you with how things are going with any fast God is inviting you into. We'd also love to pray for you. Get in touch! info@livingmarriages.com

Thief of Contentment: Why Spending Won't Make You Happier (and What We're Trying to Do About It!)

Dopamine is profitable. We live in an age where everything is designed to give us quick dopamine hits, from our devices to our online shopping carts, because retailers and marketers know that dopamine drives sales.
But is this what God designed us for? As individuals and in our marriages? On this episode, we share about our experience of doing a "No Spend Week". We talk about:
The difficulties there are in overcoming these quick dopamine hits
What we learned from our week of not spending
Why it's important to flex our "no muscle" (thanks to Bob and Linda Lotich for that reference!)
Two tips for starting your "No Spend Week"
Next Steps
Let us know if you're going to try a No Spend Week so we can be praying for you and encouraging you! info@livingmarriages.com
 

Ditch your Phone (kind of)! A Prayer to Reclaim Intimacy in Your Marriage

In our last episode, we discussed the dangers and harm that can come to our relationships from unhealthy relationships with our devices. 
Today, we're providing space for us to reflect with God and one another. How have I given in to my phone and social media's design to give me quick dopamine hits? How has this replaced the slower work of intimacy and conversation in my marriage and family? How is God inviting me to more?
We'll also pray for God's freedom for us from our devices and new habits to make sure our phones don't have the last word in our relationships.
Next Steps
Would you like some accountability or encouragement? Prayer? Please feel free to get in touch with us. It's always an honour hearing from you: info@livingmarriages.com
 

Thief of Intimacy: How Your Phone Is Harming Your Marriage and Family

We recently heard a very convicting conversation between Joey Odom of ReclaimWell and the great folks over at the Intentional Parenthood Podcast. In that conversation, Joey warns of how the phone can really kill intimacy between spouses and harm relationships between parents and children.
On this episode, we review some of the harmful habits and attitudes we've formed around our devices and seek to discover God's hope, one small change at a time.
We also make one suggestion we feel so strongly about that we put it directly in the show notes and that we believe will help you break proximity with your device: please do not charge your phones in your bedrooms! The harm far outweighs the good.
Next Steps
Join us for this Thursday's episode where we provide space for reflection on the relationship between us and our devices.
If you'd like to get in touch for prayer, encouragement or if you have show ideas, email us: info@livingmarriages.com
 

Stop Grumbling, Start Groaning - A Prayer For Those Who Are Complaining

On this Thursday Thought, we re-visit our powerful conversation with Dr. John Littlejohn. (Listen to that on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you're listening to us from!)
We reflect on the ways we intentionally or unintentionally fall into idolatry, how to seek God first, especially in the mundane and unpack the difference between an inward-focused grumbling that negatively affects our life and marriage and a God-focused groaning, where the Spirit of God groans with us. (Romans 8:22-27)
We pray for those of us who feel like we're caught in a cycle of grumbling and complaint.
Next steps
If you'd like to get in touch with a prayer request or episode idea, we'd love to hear from you! info@livingmarriages.com
You can also donate to this non-profit ministry at our website - https://livingmarriages.com
God bless!