The Living Marriages Podcast | Effective Communication, Intimacy, Healthy Habits, Christian Counseling, Christian Parenting

Self-care is an extremely important part of being a healthy and present spouse and parent in any marriage and family. But what if what we're doing to care for ourselves is actually doing us and our marriage more harm than good?
In today's conversation we look at:
Why self-care may look different for different people
Why we need to remain open to the kind of self-care God is leading us into
Why self-care should not come at the expense of another
Next steps
What is self-care for you? How has God challenged or invited you to care for yourself so that you can care for others? Let us know! info@livingmarriages.com
 

Are things feeling stressful and chaotic in your marriage or with your kids? What if there was a way to reduce the stress in your family through  conversation?
On this episode, we explore:
How we can hold each other's "emotional balloons" (curious? Make sure to tune in and find out more about this image God gave April!)
What a "stress-reducing conversation" is and why it can be so beneficial
8 guidelines to having this conversation
Resources
From the Gottman Institute, 8 guidelines to having a "stress-reducing conversation":
1. Take turns. Each partner gets a set time to be the speaker.2. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Focus on understanding before offering solutions.3. Show genuine interest. Stay attentive and focused on your partner.4. Communicate understanding. Reflect back what you hear to show empathy.5. Take your partner’s side. Be supportive, even if you don’t fully agree.6. Adopt a “we’re in this together” attitude. You’re a team, not opponents.7. Express affection. Offer warmth through words or touch.8. Validate emotions. Let your partner know their feelings make sense.
You can find more on this conversation and other great resources here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-stress-reducing-conversation/
Get In Touch
We'd love to hear from you with your feedback, show ideas or how we can be praying for you! Get in touch: info@livingmarriages.com
 

Assumptions always complicate marriages. However, when two people are coming from two different cultures, those assumptions can seem worlds apart. Today's guests, Pesa and Whitney Shayo of liveyourbestmarriage.com have been navigating the challenges and opportunities of an inter-cultural marriage for 22 years and have been helping others do the same, finding a Christ-centred marriage.
In our conversation, you'll hear:
How naming babies and bringing home unprocessed goat meat led to some difficult times
Why friendship and unity matter, not just in an inter-cultural marriage but in all marriages
The transformational shift seeing your spouse as your friend, not your enemy will bring
How Jesus brings unity to any marriage, if we'll allow him
Resources
You can find out more about Pesa and Whitney, as well as take their free United Front audit at their website. Here you'll find out more about their books, coaching offerings and podcast as well.
Get in touch
We'd love to hear from you about show ideas or if you'd like prayer. Get in touch with us! info@livingmarriages.com
 
 

It's summer and we've finally had some good summer weather! While our family is enjoying some time together in God's creation, we hope you'll enjoy this episode from our archives that explores another good gift from God's creation - sex!
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Is sex something that has brought you and your spouse closer together, or has it been a pain point in your marriage? Is sex something you can talk about freely with each other and your kids, or is there a cloud of shame that still hangs over the subject?
We are so thrilled to be joined on this episode by the founder of Sex Ed Reclaimed, Kristen Miele as she shares God's heart and vision for the beauty of sex in marriage.
On this episode: 
We talk about how our upbringing affects our sex life in marriage, including the effects of "purity culture" teaching
We hear God's heart and design for sex and how it is in essence, worship
We discover how learning to talk about sex with our kids is not only essential for them but good for our marriage
To find Kristen's incredible resources and curriculums, please check out her website:
https://www.sexedreclaimed.com/
You can get 15 percent off at Kristen's site with the coupon code CHRISTIANPARENTING
Have any questions or feedback? Get in touch with us: info@livingmarriages.com
 

Whether you have children or not, our rhythms in North America revolve around the school year with summer being a time to relax and vacation. Fall is fast around the corner though and that means that routines and busyness will begin again. Have you and your spouse had a conversation about what your fall looks like yet? Are there too many good things in your schedule that will keep you from the great things God has for you? NOW is the time to have these conversations. When you're in the thick of things, it will be too late.
In this conversation, we invite you to consider:
If there are things you need to say "no" to so that your family can thrive instead of survive.
God's design - that we are "human beings," not "human doings."
Why Fall is the new New Year
Next Steps
If you have feedback, show ideas or would like prayer or encouragement in your marriage and family journey, we'd love to hear from you! Get in touch: info@livingmarriages.com
 

Whether you are parents or not, God has placed children in your life. While parents are the primary disciplers of their children, God has also given those children a community of adults who can model faith and speak God's love and wisdom into their lives. The question God is inviting us to consider in this episode is: are you praying for those children? Whether for your own kids or someone else's, are you interceding for them to know God's love, grace and goodness?
In this conversation we share:
Our own struggles with our youngest child and how that has led us into more intentional prayer
The importance of a weekly marriage meeting whether you have kids or not
The important call God has given us to be praying for the next generation of disciples and leaders
Resources
Here is an academic paper demonstrating the effectiveness of students having mentors. Among the findings: "Students with mentors were significantly less depressed, more satisfied, and more committed to their faith than students without mentors."
Our episode on what makes for an effective weekly "marriage meeting."
A wonderful guide to weekly marriage meetings from FamilyLife Canada.
A Prayer For Your Child's Emotions by Kaylene Yoder
Lord, I pray You would bestow on my children a crown of beauty instead of ashes. Anoint them with Your oil of gladness in the midst of mourning. And clothe them in garments of praise so they may be guarded against falling into despair (Isaiah 61:3). Renew my children’s hearts and minds and empower them to overcome any negative emotional behaviors. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Get in Touch
We'd love to hear about how you pray for your children or the children in your life! Have any prayers you'd like to share with us? Get in touch: info@livingmarriages.com
 
 

We live in such a divided world today that even family gatherings can be incredible sources of tensions. What can we talk about without somebody exploding? How can we ever truly connect, so that we can know others and be known?
If you are feeling that tension in some of your relationships or even in your marriage, this conversation is for you! What if curiosity could help us lower the tension? What if there are questions we can ask that will build connection with everyone in the room?
Author Priya Parker has developed something she terms "magical questions", questions that "are good for a group when it’s both interesting to each person to answer and each person would be curious to hear everyone else’s response."
In this episode, we explore the power God gives us through the art of asking questions to help us both overcome differences and strengthen connection, both in our marriages and other important relationships.
Resources
Find out more about Priya Parker and her magical questions here and here. 
Get In Touch!
We'd love to hear your response to our magical question to you! We'd also love to hear any other magical questions you've discovered work well in your marriage or other relationships. E-mail us: info@livingmarriages.com
 

For many of us, finances cause us a lot of grief and confusion or even worse, it can lead to bitterness and strife in our marriages. Often that stress comes from "clutter" in our finances, e.g. not understanding how much is coming in or going out, what is important to us or our spouse. 
In this episode, we heed God's invitation to begin to declutter our finances by:
admitting we need help
having a conversation with our spouse about what are important expenses to us
beginning to track what's coming in and what's going out
seeking good resources and wise people
Resources
Our friends at Rise Above Finance can help you gain clarity on your financial picture and teach you what stewardship means and looks like practically: https://www.riseabovefinance.com/
For a great read on achieving financial freedom and eternal impact together with God, check out Bob and Linda Lotich's book, Simple Money, Rich Life. The first copy of your book is free (apart from shipping and handling!) Click here. 

We had the best of intentions. A wonderful anniversary trip away. Time spent with each other and the Lord visioning what he was calling our family to. We were so excited to implement our family vision as soon as we got home!
And then we came home to the clutter and the chaos. We've been struggling to implement our vision since so we decided we need to start by decluttering first. 
Note: This episode still includes clean and organized people! Your clutter might just be different than ours but it might still be there. It could be mental, emotional, spiritual and/or physical. If you have clutter, God has something to say about it!
Like, what would our lives look like if we removed the things that distract us from those of "most value"?
Join us for an eye-opening, challenging and ultimately encouraging conversation!
Resources
To find Joshua Becker's latest book, "Uncluttered Faith," click here. 
Next Steps
Get in touch if you'd like prayer, encouragement or if you have guest or episode ideas! info@livingmarriages.com
 

Drama. Even as God's image-bearers, drama is a reality of our fallen human experience. Often within our marriages and our families, we step into drama in one of three ways: as the victim, persecutor or rescuer. We can often cycle through these different roles in our family systems or even in our own perspectives. As we continue to cycle through these roles, we continue to live in drama.
Thankfully, God has a better way for us to live other than in drama. In this episode we talk about God's invitation for us to step out of drama by becoming aware of our role in the drama and when necessary, by setting boundaries. It's not an easy journey but with God's grace and the support of others, it is possible!
Resources
For a diagram of the Drama Triangle, click here. 
For support and prayer to step out of drama, please connect with us! We'd love to pray with you and if we're able, to recommend supports and resources for you. info@livingmarriages.com
Other Episodes
For our conversation with Katie Skurja of Imago Dei Ministries, click here.
Find the episodes with JB and Erin Crocker here.