The Living Marriages Podcast | Effective Communication, Intimacy, Healthy Habits, Christian Counseling, Christian Parenting
The Go-To Podcast for Those Who Want To Rebuild Intimacy and Connection in Their Christ Centered Marriage Has the excitement of your wedding day now faded into the background? Are you so exhausted that the last thing you want to think about is your marriage? Do you and your spouse feel like ships passing in the night? If you’re craving the intimate, connected marriage God has for you, you’ve come to the right place! We’re April and Aaron Au, marriage coaches with over a decade of experience, who are on the journey to finding God’s best for our marriage while raising two young boys. We recently heard this wisdom: “If your marriage isn’t growing, it’s dying.” Yikes! That really got our attention! But if you think about it, it’s true. Marriages need direction, purpose and a common vision to thrive. If they don’t, they will inevitably drift apart. When you add the pressures of raising young children and the grind of daily work to the mix, there are even more forces that threaten to pull our marriages apart. Thankfully, God has a beautiful vision for our marriages. He wants us to cultivate and enjoy intimacy and connection in our marriage. What’s more, God wants to breathe his Spirit and life into our marriages through beautiful encounters with him in prayer and worship. In this podcast, we’ll learn about: - Simple, healthy habits that lead to effective communication and intentional conversations - The assumptions and expectations that can sabotage our marriages - How community is essential for a connected marriage - God’s heart to bring healing and wholeness to us, as individuals and as a family And of course, we’ll dive into all of the fun topics like sex, money, parenting and why you shouldn’t buy a car without talking to your spouse first. We’ll also have space to encounter God through prayer, worship and reflection through regular episodes called “Thursday Thoughts.” So join us on this beautiful journey that we call “Living Marriages.” Get in touch! info@livingmarriages.com Like the podcast? You can make a charitable donation to keep fresh content coming: livingmarriages.com
Listen on:
Episodes
Thursday Apr 24, 2025
Thursday Apr 24, 2025
When our kids look at our marriages, what do they see?
Even if you don't have kids, this episode is for you because our marriages matter to others, including the next generation. Join us for this Thursday Thought in which we reflect on and pray about our discussion from Ep. 26 in which we learned that “if we truly want what is best for our children, we need to want what is best for our marriage as well."
Grab your journal, your Bible, a pen and find a quiet spot for a time of reflection and prayer as we seek God's healing and his best for our marriages so they may be a blessing to others, especially the next generation.
A Breath Prayer from Psalm 147:3
Inhale: You Heal The Brokenhearted
Exhale: And Bind Up Their Wounds
Tuesday Apr 22, 2025
Tuesday Apr 22, 2025
It's so easy to believe that marriage only matters to a husband and a wife. But as God has really been laying on our hearts, it's time for us to realize that our marriages matter to so many more, especially the next generation. Whether you have kids or not, this episode is for you.
Now, to the parents listening - this episode is not a guilt trip about the ways in which your marriage is hurting your children. It is though, as we found, a gracious "wake-up" call from the Lord to realize that if we truly want what is best for our children, we need to want what is best for our marriage as well.
In this episode, we discuss:
God's vision for the next generation of marriages
How our marriage can impact our children's well-being positively and negatively
How the simple practice of apologizing to our spouse and children can be transformational
Quote:
“In his lab, John found that the amount of stress hormones that show up in a child’s 24-hour urine sample accurately reflects the quality of the parents’ relationship. The worse the marriage, the more stress hormones there are in the child’s urine. There’s no question that the cradle that holds the child is the parental relationship. The cradle can either gently soothe the child to sleep or violently throw her to the floor.” (Dr. Daniel Segel from the Forward to "10 Principals For Doing Effective Couples Therapy")
Resources
10 Principles For Doing Effective Couples Therapy by Drs. Julie and John Gottman
https://www.gottman.com/product/10-principles-for-doing-effective-couples-therapy/
An Article On the Work of Dr. Gordon Harold
https://danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com/blog/parents-fighting-in-front-of-kids#:~:text=In%20another%20study%2C%20Gottman%27s%20research,with%20happy%20and%20stable%20marriages.
A Summary of Some of Dr. Harold's Findings
https://www.familysolutionsgroup.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Inter-Parental-Conflict-and-Family-Separation.pdf
An Academic Study on "Constructive" vs. "Destructive" Conflict
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3829624/#:~:text=Exposure%20to%20marital%20conflict%20places,Grych%20&%20Fincham%2C%201990).
Have questions? Want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you: info@livingmarriages.com
Your support, both financial and prayer, make all the difference! To make a charitable donation, please visit our website: livingmarriages.com
Thursday Apr 17, 2025
Thursday Apr 17, 2025
In Episode 24, we had the privilege of having a conversation with Christie Thomas about the importance of small faith habits in discipling our kids.
In this Thursday Thought, April leads us in a time of reflection and prayer, giving us a chance to celebrate with God the little habits we might be sharing in already that form us and our children and asking God to help us build simple, new habits that will stick. (Even if you don't have children, this episode is for you as small faith habits matter to all of us!)
So grab your journal, your Bible and find a quiet place to spend some time with us and the Lord!
Resources:
Little Shoots Deep Roots with Christie Thomas
https://littleshootsdeeproots.com/
Breath as Prayer by Jennifer Tucker
https://littlehousestudio.net/books
We would love to hear from you about some of the little habits that have worked for you and your family's spiritual life. You can e-mail us: info@livingmarriages.com
If you'd like to support us with a charitable donation or find out more about us, please visit our website: www.livingmarriages.com
Tuesday Apr 15, 2025
Tuesday Apr 15, 2025
How do you foster a sense of spiritual connectedness with God and your spouse when you also have the reality of little ones bringing daily joy and chaos?
This is a challenge that we share with many of our listeners. That's why we're so excited to chat with Christie Thomas from Little Shoots, Deep Roots about ways in which we can cultivate a deeper spiritual journey "with" our kids instead of "in spite" of them!
In this conversation you'll hear:
Why small habits rather than large changes are much more effective in discipling your kids
Some small practical habits that will help your kids grow with Jesus
Why and how God is freeing us from the guilt of hypocrisy in raising and discipling our kids
To find out more about Christie's incredible ministry (including books, videos and her new podcast), please visit her website: https://littleshootsdeeproots.com/
For more on Living Marriages or to get in touch with us, visit us at our website: www.livingmarriages.com
or email us: info@livingmarriages.com
Thursday Apr 10, 2025
Thursday Apr 10, 2025
On this Thursday Thought, please join us for a time of reflection and prayer as we consider the ways God is inviting us to "plant" and "tend" to the small habits in our marriage so that they may grow into the living, connected and intimate marriage he has for us!
We'll consider the "mustard seeds" in our marriages as well as invite God, our "master gardener" to come and help us tend, weed and even prune what's already there.
To read the parable of the mustard seed, click here for Matthew 13.
Grab your Bible, your journal and find a quiet space to join us and the Lord!
Want to get in touch? Send us an e-mail info@livingmarriages.com
Tuesday Apr 08, 2025
Tuesday Apr 08, 2025
I confess! I (Aaron) love big, radical things! I'm always looking for the "next big idea" that will change our lives and our marriages, the "silver bullet" or "magic formula" that will bring dramatic transformation. However, while we should not discount the big things, I've been learning the ways in which God is inviting us to discover and invest in the small things. When these are done often, with intentionality and care, they will make a big difference in our marriage.
In this episode:
We talk about how "small things" is a kingdom principal that applies to our marriages
We explore the concept of "bids" in relationships as put forward by Dr. John Gottman
We invite you to find the small things that are already happening often in your marriage and discuss where they aren't happening
Resources
A study from Penn State on how the small things make us feel loved:
https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/love-actually-americans-agree-what-makes-people-feel-love
An article from the Gottman Institute on "bids" in relationship:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/marriage-not-big-thing-million-little-things/?
A fun blog from the Gottman Institute on some of the small things couples do for each other:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/small-things-often-ingredients-happy-relationship/
Want to share with us some of the small things you do often for each other? Send us a note! info@livingmarriages.com
Thursday Apr 03, 2025
Thursday Apr 03, 2025
Have you felt at times that God has abandoned or forgotten you? - In times of grief, doubt and confusion, do you worry that he might not care for you the way he promises to in Psalm 23?
Grab your Bible, your journal and your favourite beverage and join us for this Thursday Thoughts edition of Living Marriages as April leads us in a time of reflection and prayer in Psalm 23. How can we recognize the voice of our Good Shepherd? How can we know that he is in the valley with us and, even in the midst of the darkness, that he will provide for us and for our spouse? April shares a personal story of God's presence as our shepherd through the valley of infertility.
Let us know how we can be praying for you! info@livingmarriages.com
Tuesday Apr 01, 2025
Tuesday Apr 01, 2025
Do you ever wonder where God is in the valleys of life?
If you need hope and encouragement for the journey, this episode is for you! Kyle Brooks, pastor and author of "Through the Valley: 40 Days on Psalm 23 A Lenten Devotional" is our guest.
In our conversation, Kyle candidly shares:
How he came to write a Lenten devotional based on Psalm 23
How he and his wife Stephanie navigated Kyle's cancer diagnosis and treatment while also welcoming their first child
The challenges of having a connected marriage while raising two young children
Through it all, he shares the hope and encouragement we have because, "The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing."
To find out more about Kyle, his devotional and podcast, please check out the following:
https://kylebrooks.substack.com/
https://www.tapestryoakland.org/
https://www.multiracialministry.com/
If you'd like to connect with us for prayer or with some feedback, suggestions or questions about the podcast, we'd love to hear from you! info@livingmarriages.com
Thursday Mar 27, 2025
Thursday Mar 27, 2025
How would you answer these two questions about intimacy in your marriage?
Is it safe to love?
Is it safe to be loved?
If you have positive answers, join us in thanking God that you are able to both give and receive love in your marriage!
If you struggle, as many of us do, please don't lose hope. God is for you and your marriage and he wants you to be able to give and receive love in the fullest expressions of intimacy in our marriages.
Grab a journal and your Bible, your favourite beverage and find a quiet space to reflect and pray together and to hear God's heart for the intimacy and connection he has for us in our marriage.
If you'd like to connect and have us pray with you or walk with you in some way in your marriage, we're here! info@livingmarriages.com
Tuesday Mar 25, 2025
Tuesday Mar 25, 2025
When we use the word "intimacy," our culture (and even our churches) have conditioned us to think of what happens in the bedroom, of sexual intimacy.
While sexual intimacy is an integral part of marriage, it is not the full picture of what God has created us for and invited us into. There is so much more to intimacy and today's episode is meant to get the conversation going on what intimacy in marriage can look like beyond the bedroom.
According to Eric Erickson, intimacy is the potential someone has for connectedness and it hinges on 3 things:
Commitment
Vulnerability
Communication
Two important questions we ask about intimacy in marriage:
Is it safe to love?
Is it safe to be loved?
Resources:
This is a bit of a technical paper (but still very approachable) and is a good look at Erickson's ideas on intimacy:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2733523/#:~:text=As%20such%2C%20Erikson%20emphasized%20three,communicate%20inner%20thoughts%20and%20feelings.
A link to Henri Nouwen's essays on Intimacy:
https://archive.org/details/intimacyessaysin0000nouw
Have questions or need prayer? Get in touch with us: info@livingmarriages.com